Last weekend, albeit having to rise early unlike the usual routine, the sacrifice was worth it.

I took home the principles of a lifetime; of what will make or break a relationship that is so solemn in the ‘eyes’ of Allah.

It dawned on me I am no longer a kid. It dawned on me that I’ll be shouldering a whole lot of responsibilities ahead of me. And it dawned on me, that what I will be facing in time to come is not easy; full of challenges.

Guilt was in it for me. For all that I have been through, for all that I have now, is all thanks to the Almighty. And for what I will be facing, only He knows. He is the reason of my existence.

It was time. Time for me to wake up and realise that reality is not as bad as it seems. That reality is only a reality if God willing. Through you, I feel closer to Him. Like I’ve penned down, I believe you are his messenger to me. To reason my existence on this beautiful creation of His. 

I felt like running away. Running away from this world, a world where sins multiply itself in seconds. I felt like severing ties that were of no purpose except of memories and laughter; but behind those ties are sins. Sins of envy. Sins of hypocrisy. Sins of greed.

My disposition - “Alone and you shall not commit any (sin) if you commit yourself to Him.”

On the contrary, the world is such that you have to live with the existence of the other beings around you. It is through the existence of others, will He know how you will succumb to the challenges and tests that he gives. And through that, will He know your strength of commitment to Him.

Contradicting. Masya’allah.